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When words fail, use a different language. Our BOpeepal™ cards give you a powerful tool to help you understand what’s going on for the people closest to you. They help children and adults think about and show each other how they feel. A brilliant way to understand and help your child.
Coaches and counsellors use cards like these to start conversations and help people explain how they feel. We have taken this professional concept and designed cards that anybody can use with confidence. Each pack has ideas and simple explanations for how to use the cards.
BOpeepal™ is a way for people to talk and help each other through difficulties.
My son was struggling with friendships at school. We sat down at home and looked at the cards together. He chose 3 to show what he felt was happening and how that made him feel. I was really sad to see the cards he chose. He clearly felt left out and alone. Then he chose 4 other cards to show how he would like things to be at school. They were all really positive cards. Happy, showing that he really wanted to be included and accepted by the other children. We talked about what he could do to move from one situation to the other. The next day I went to school to talk to his teacher. The teacher was sympathetic but explained she thought the situation wasn’t all ‘one way traffic’, that sometimes my son made life difficult for himself too. It felt a bit like the teacher really wasn’t going to do much to help. And there wasn’t an obvious solution. Then I showed her the cards my son had chosen during our conversation. The teacher suddenly looked incredibly sad and said ‘that’s really not ok for him to feel like that’. ‘Seeing’ his emotions rather than just thinking of the recent events made a huge impact. My conversation with the teacher changed from that moment. We focused on the positive future cards my son chose. We both suddenly seemed to have a positive goal, how to formulate a plan to get from the current difficult situation to the much more positive future my son wanted to get to. It didn’t fix everything instantaneously, but it gave us a common understanding of how sad my son was feeling and a way to focus on finding a resolution. - Mrs P
No, anyone can use the cards. They are easy and intuitive.
There are 40 cards in a pack. Each card shows our character, BOpeepal™, in a different scene. There are also 4 instruction cards and 1 listening card that give ideas of how to use them.
You can choose one, or a few, to show how you feel. The cards can be used to show specific feelings; tell stories about a past event or build a picture of what you would like to happen. By choosing and sharing images, conversations become easier to start and emotions and behaviour easier to understand. The cards help because it is often easier to show how you feel through an image than to find the right words.
We have trialled the cards with children from age 4 upwards. We have found that children of all ages respond well to the cards. Even adults love them! So much so that we are now also using them with adults in corporate settings.
You can use the BOpeepal™ cards as often as you like. If you are going to use them regularly, we suggest the sessions are short. Fo example, your child can choose a card when they come home from school to show you how their day was. In this situation we would not suggest a long conversation around the cards every day. Alternatively, you can choose to use the cards once a child has calmed down after a particularly difficult situation. We have found that once children are used to using the cards, they often ask to use them to explain how they feel. We even know of children who leave cards on their parents’ bed at night to show how their day has been!
Some children immediately love the BOpeepal™ cards and are happy to ‘play’ with them. But, introducing children to a new way of communicating can sometimes take time. This is especially true if you are introducing them to help discuss difficult situations. Try introducing the cards when you are all relaxed and perhaps start by playing a game with them, for example, making up a story together with the cards about something neutral. Gradually, as children understand they can use the cards to show you how they feel in moments of difficulty they will find it easier to use the cards. Initially a child may only be able to pick an image but not be able to talk about it. That’s ok. Don’t force a conversation. Wait and calmly ask questions like: ‘What is happening in the picture?’ Or, ‘how do you think BO feels in this picture?’
If your child becomes emotional or says anything you find difficult, listen calmly and allow your child to talk. Acknowledge what they have said and how they feel and let them keep talking. Try to remain calm and not show you are upset. It is important for your child to feel accepted and listened to.
Not that we know of. There are no right or wrongs in using the cards. Just remember, it is important for you to spend more time listening to the child than talking. It is also important to ensure you listen without judgement or blame.
The cards work both one-to-one and in groups. The instruction cards give ideas for ways to use the cards in either scenario.
Our cards are being used by families, schools, therapists and even in corporate environments.
BOpeepal™ cards are for sale here on our website and on Amazon.
